Rob was born July 24, 1969 in Tucson, Arizona.  He grew up in Delaware and moved back to Arizona in 1996.  He has a degree from Johns Hopkins University.  Charlie was born February 24, 1971 and is a native of Arizona.  Other than a year in France he has lived in Phoenix his entire life.  They met on the internet and instantly became best friends.  After a couple years Rob moved in with Charlie and their relationship grew stronger.  They pledged there lives to each other on March 22, 2002. 

Rob currently works in the drug industry (the legal ones).  His company manages pharmacy benefits for large employers and HMOs.  Charlie works in real estate.  After, 5 years working for a local home builder he has recently switched to Model Home Center where he can help with any real estate transaction.  If you know of anyone who could benefit from his services please don't hesitate to let us know.  

We both love to have fun and believe in living life to it's fullest.  Our home reflects our desire to live carefree.  Our recent remodeling project (not fun but worth it) involved adding french doors to the master bedroom looking out on to the pool and replacing the carpet with tile which is much easier to maintain.  We also are animal lovers.  We have lots of happy pets including 3 dogs (Mickey, Juno & Russell), lots of fish and 2 ducks (Carmen & Juni). 

Rob and Charlie believe that honesty is vital to having a healthy relationship.  Not just with each other but with those that they care about.  With that in mind they have decided to share there personal stories about coming to terms with being gay which eventually led them on the path to finding each other. 

Rob's Story

"Coming Out" for me was more a gradual journey of self-discovery than a dramatic burst of sexual acknowledgment. As a child, I most enjoyed intellectual and fantasy pursuits. I loved learning – not only traditional academic subjects like science, history and languages, but also romantic, esoteric topics like, religion, poetry and music. I was fairly quiet and shy, though I did enjoy hanging out with friends. In high school most of my friendships and social activities centered on band activities, and it was with these friends that I really began coming out of my shell and began to learn how to be myself. I really enjoyed developing friendships with guys, and warm relationships with my male friends felt natural, exciting and right. Looking back, I now realize that even then I was attracted to the beauty of the male body, but at the time I had no idea that this was unusual for a guy. At this point I did not consider myself gay, but I usually had a feeling of being "left out" when the subject of sexuality came up, because I never seemed to share other guys’ desire to "get laid." I really wasn’t very sexual at all.

College was a great adventure of growth and learning, both academically and personally. I developed several warm, deep friendships, and had one serious long term relationship with a woman. When our relationship ended I continued to pursue relationships with women, though nothing ever felt right or comfortable. Although I never shared it with anyone, I did have a sexual experience with a guy that I enjoyed very much. I was intrigued by it, but I continued with the assumption that "Mrs. Right" would show up in time, and patience was something that came easy to me. After finishing school, I continued to date and began working full time. I usually enjoyed hanging out with my male friends a lot more than the casual dates with women that I would go on, though I still never considered that I was gay. My 20’s drifted by, I did not feel like I was getting any closer to finding a life partner. I turned to the internet more and more to read and learn about gay stuff. My curiosity, fueled by the memory of my college encounter, continued to increase. After a particularly painful end to a year’s worth of casual dating with the same girl, I decided that my current approach needed to change. I was almost 30, and I definitely did not feel that I was on the right track. I decided to meet some gay guys and see what would happen. Within a month or two I met Charlie, and my life changed dramatically. I finally understood how awesome my life could be when I had someone to intimately share it with. Charlie and I did not become friends with the goal of pursuing a "gay relationship" – we shared an immediate and intimate friendship that quickly and naturally grew into something that both of us knew was so awesome that it needed to be permanent.

The question became not whether it was right, but how to handle explaining it to our family and friends. The issue was less urgent for me, because my whole family lived thousands of miles away, and my job was such that there was no immediate need to "come out" to my co-workers. When Charlie and I decided to move in together, we agreed that we needed to be honest with everyone. It was easier than I expected, and it felt great to be open and honest with people. Reactions were unanimously warm and welcoming, though the people closest to me felt hurt that I hadn’t shared my feelings sooner.

Charlie's Story

The other day I was talking to Denise Sowers about being gay and, as is usually the case with her, she somehow managed to make me feel even better than I already was.  She said that there was no way she could ever accept that people are naturally gay.  In her mind it is a choice.  Then she said that it didn’t really matter because she loves me no matter what.  After hanging up the phone I thought about how another Christian friend of mine, Bob Moody, says that is very bad.  He has said repeatedly that if someone doesn’t love the gay side of you than they don’t really love you.  I know that both of these people really care about me so the two conflicting statements got me to thinking. 

From as far back as I can remember I have known that I was different.  For some reason I didn’t feel the same way towards girls as the other boys did.  When I was little I didn’t fully understand it but as the years passed I began to realize that all the feelings I was supposed to have for girls I only felt for boys.  This was a painful thing to cope with so I prayed for God to make me “normal”.  The feelings never changed so I did my best to hide them.  I joined the military, worked in construction and I would occasionally date girls which was always an excruciating experience because I was so afraid they would want to have sex with meJ.  Secretly, I would also occasionally explore relations with guys.  Because I was so afraid of anyone finding out there was no chance that any of those relationships would ever last.  Even though I never told anyone, inside I was feeling very sad and alone.  I desperately wanted to share what I was feeling but I felt that people wouldn’t understand.  So I kept it hidden and whenever anyone asked if I was gay I would deny it.  Every day of my life I would continue to pray that God would correct this problem with me but nothing changed.  In my efforts to be straight I turned to the internet to find the right girl.  No doubt Julie and Shirley remember what a disaster that was.  Then one night after checking out all the available women and not finding anyone that even sounded remotely good I decided to take a look at what the guys would be like.  I still didn’t like the gay side of me so I avoided the gay section.  But in my mind it was OK to check out the guys who considered themselves bisexual because they were just confused like me.  Well, the guys that I read about were all just as bad as the girls.  Just as I was about to give up I came across an ad that caught my attention.  It said, “looking for a best friend with fringe benefits”.  So I decided to read further.  I could tell by the quality of his writing that he was well educated.  And, he talked about all the problems he was having dating girls and just wanted to have a good friend that he could be himself around.  I was very excited because this is exactly what I had been looking for my whole life.  A best friend that I could be completely honest with about who I am.  Of course that guy was Rob and that is how we first met.  Over the last couple of years that friendship has turned into a love that I never thought was possible.  Eventually, the love I had for Rob overpowered my fears of people finding out that I was gay. 

Everything was going great except for one thing.  As a Christian I still didn’t understand why I was gay.  There are places in the bible that specifically say it’s bad.  But, I knew absolutely and completely that God intended for me to be with Rob.  So when Denise called me I felt compelled to talk to her about it.  As I said before, after I hung up the phone I was thinking about our conversation and that’s when I finally had the answer to the prayer I prayed every day of my life for as long as I can remember.  It was as if God was standing there having a conversation with me.  The reason he never changed me is because I was fine just as I was.  There are a lot of people that I love who do things I don’t agree with.  No matter how strongly I feel they are wrong my love remains very real and strong.  So why should it matter if someone doesn’t understand or accept that I am gay.  Ultimately, all that matters is that I am lucky enough to be surrounded by tons of people who genuinely love me no matter what I may do with my life.  The Bible is full of things that we cannot fully understand.  In fact, there are many rules that we all can agree don't make sense.  The chapter most often quoted saying homosexuality is bad is Leviticus which also says that when a woman has a period she cannot have contact with any other person for 7 days and it is a sin for a man to shave or even trim his beard.  As humans we cannot possibly understand all of what God intended for us.  All we can do is trust in his love and do our best with this life that he has given us.  And, as a father would be proud of a child who just got all A’s on their report card I felt like God was proud of me for finally figuring out what he had been teaching me all these years.  He made each person to be unique and special.  So quit worrying about how people SHOULD be and rejoice in the simple fact that we all ARE God’s creation!